Darkness pressed in and the weight of tortured prayers hung low above my body, prone and still. I rolled over, burying my face in the pillow so salty tears would dissolve into cotton instead of streaking my skin.
The clock in our bathroom ticked like an ice pick on frozen water, sending echoes into the inky night. My eyes peeled open in vain, wishing for handwriting on the wall and solutions to the heartbreak of this world.
- I resolved to fast.
- To limit food choices on non-fasting days.
- To read Scripture with fervor.
- To wake up early for prayer.
- To give up sleep in the morning, bartering comfort for answers.
Instead, I am left with quiet. I am left making promises. I am left testing myself.
Today’s Scripture selections included 2 Corinthians 13, the final chapter in Paul’s impassioned plea to the Christians in Corinth. He tells them, “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless you fail to meet the test!”
Each Lent I purpose to test myself by saturating the weeks leading to Calvary in the Biblical text.… Continue Reading